The Secret To Growing Old and Looking Young

"One day you turn around and it's summer.
The next day you turn around and it's fall.
And suddenly, all the springs and winters of a lifetime,
Whatever happened to them all?

As a man, who has always had the wandering ways
Now I'm looking back on yesterdays
'Til a long forgotten love appears
And I find, I'm sighing softly as I near
September, the warm September of my years

As a man, who has never paused at wishing wells
Now I'm watching children's carousels
And their laughter's music to my ears
And I find, I'm smiling gently as I near
September, the warm September of my years
- The golden warm September of my years"

The September of My Years, Frank Sinatra

I work at an independent living community (Don’t EVER call it a “facility.” That is the “F” word and is considered offensive, for it refers to a rundown nursing home. Much like Shady Pines…). I work very closely with elderly people 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. Monday through Friday. Before I started, I thought it would drive me nuts. But you know what? I love the residents! They just want/need someone to talk to. And I love indulging them by listening patiently to their stories, watching their eyes sparkle when they remember something dear to them or watching the pain twinge in their face when they tell me about their love of 50+ years who has passed.

They are all characters and I love each one of them dearly. I try to make their lives as easy as possible. I help Ethel with her hearing aids every morning. She has collapsed ear canals, which makes it hard for her to get the hearing aids in. Plus, she has macular degeneration so she can’t see all that well. (Can you see your ear canal?) She gets so frustrated with herself and her self esteem has suffered. But I insist she is doing great and making progress. Betty stops by my desk several times throughout the day to ask what the door code is to the building next door because she can’t remember (Her apartment is littered with post-its I have made for her, reminding her of upcoming events and appointments). I try not to laugh after the fourth time and pretend she’s never asked before. Fran has arthritis so bad that it has crippled her hands and turned her thumbs sideways. But I’m not afraid to hold her hand sometimes as she walks to her room to rest after breakfast. Evelyn, a petite Jewish lady from the Bronx, calls me “Stephanotchky,” which makes my heart smile every time I hear her say it.

This job has forced me to see many things in a different light. I have done things I never thought I’d ever have to do or COULD do, for that matter. For example, I have wiped vomit off a face without flinching, helped a lady put her pants on even after she’d messed herself (the ambulance was coming), sat with someone who thought they might be having a stroke while they waited for an ambulance… It is sad, but it is life. We all will need this kind of help should we be “lucky” enough to live to see 85 or 90.

There are two kinds of people here in the community: Active and sedentary. And if you want the secret to looking/feeling young, it’s quite simple: stay active! Walk. Exercise. Keep moving. The residents who are active are more vibrant and alive than the ones who sit in their apartments all day. They look years younger, too. The active ones don't tire as easily and have more energy. Their skin looks radiant and doesn't sag as much.

Ask yourself if you want to be confined to a walker or wheelchair when you grow old. And it's ok if you can't envision yourself there yet. You may have a long way to go, but start now. You won't regret it!